Are you frustrated by relationships at work and at home?
Do you wonder what to do besides be silent or critical?
Do you react to another’s negative tone or words?
There is another way!
Good results depend upon good communication. How good are YOU? This works like magic:
Learn to speak your needs without judgment, blame, or demands.
And learn to hear the needs under another’s judgment, blame, or demands.
Seminar Description:
Are you frustrated by relationships at work and at home?
Do you wonder what to do besides be silent or critical?
Do you react to another’s negative tone or words?
There is another way!
Good results depend upon good communication. How good are YOU?
Learn to speak your needs without judgment, blame, or demands.
Learn to hear the needs under another’s judgment, blame, or demands.
Bring your communication challenges to this live, interactive teleclass workshop to discuss,
role-play, and get coached!
The call in number is: 1-605-990-0700, 272768 #.
Two Communication Stories
"Bess, you're not singing loud enough!" Joyce told me after a group of us sang together.
I thought I had sung loudly, so I took that as a criticism to mean I wasn't doing well enough, or maybe I couldn't measure up. I had felt warm toward her before, but after her comment, I felt more distant and defensive.
Instead of shutting down to her, I found an opening later to ask for a little more info from her. "So, you think I should sing louder?"
"Yeah!" she said. "I'm embarrassed about my voice, and it seemed like I was the only loud one!"
Suddenly my feelings went from defensive to empathy for her feelings. Oh! Poor dear! Now I understood her comment. Understanding her feeling and need made all the difference.
Second story: At the end of the day, my fiancé and I share stories of how our days went. Sometimes I'm tired and can hardly hear him. I could say, "You talk too much." (Criticism, blame, judgment, not taking responsibility for my needs.) Do you think I'd get empathy or help for my needs that way?
Instead, I follow the Compassionate Communication model below and say, 'I'm really torn right now, because I want to share about our days, but I'm so tired and cranky that I need a nap first. Would you be willing to share later?"
He says, "Sure," with support and gratitude that I wasn't cranky with him!
Notice the 4 steps of saying what's happening, feelings, needs, and then requests. We'll practice this on our call!
This teleclass is based on Real Conversations with yourself: the work of Bess McCarty, www.bessmccarty.com, and Compassionate Communication with others: the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, www.nonviolentcommunication.com (for materials), and
www.nonviolentcommunication.org (to find a local group).
Here is my summary of Marshall’s model:
How to Speak:
1.Observations: What I see, hear, remember, imagine (free from evaluation)
2.Feelings: How I feel (rather than think) about what I observe
3 Needs: What I need, value, or want
4. Requests: The concrete action I would like taken: “Would you be willing to…?”
How to reflect back what you hear:
1. Observations: What you see, hear, remember, imagine
2.Feelings: How you feel about what you observe
3. Needs: What you need, value, or want
4. Requests: The concrete action you would like taken: “Would you like…?”
Notice that the 4 steps are similar to my Real Conversations model of
1. Problem: Sign of an Unmet Need
2. Feelings: Under the Problem
3. Needs: To Be Met
4. Solution: To Meet the Needs
(Get your Real Conversations chart! Just sign in at www.BessMcCarty.com!)
Tell a friend!
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January Teleclass Playback #
Missed the last teleclass? You can still hear the recorded playback only until Febuary 5: "How to Make 2008 Your Best Year!" 1-641-715-3508, 272768#.
A New Year, a new opportunity, a new slate is here! Did you reach your goals for 2007? Do you know your goals for 2008?
Take a look at your "movie". Your movie is what you see about yourself, what you watch, experience, and believe, also known as the conversations you have with yourself.
What we look at is what we experience and create again.
I also walk you through 3 goals -setting exercies to create the New Year YOU want!
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Learn my 4 Simple Steps of Real Conversations™
self-coach method for FREE NOW!
* What are you really feeling and needing?
* Find solutions to your problems!
* Reach your goals and happiness !
Get your 40 minute Audio Self-Coach Lesson & E-Courses instantly:
a $254 Value, yours today, absolutely free!
www.BessMcCarty.com
Remember, the most important ingredient to your success is the Real Conversations you have with yourself!
Bess McCarty, HHP
Executive and Life Coach
Clear subconscious blocks to success!
(512) 986-5288
Free Self-Coach Audio:
www.BessMcCarty.com
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